


my life would suck without you

by wistfullywishing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Not Serious, OT12 - Freeform, Out of Character, Written Just For Fun, Zodiac Posts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8822920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfullywishing/pseuds/wistfullywishing
Summary: family[fam-uh-lee] noun1. a group that dreams, laughs, plays, and loves together; always present, not only during the good times2. the most precious gift





	1. how exo probably sleeps (Inspired by Sleepover: Zodiac Edition)

**Author's Note:**

> I literally just wrote this to relieve stress from finals and also because I thought the post was funny and there were 12 different zodiacs and 12 members and I was like hmm why not lol
> 
> Please don't take this seriously this is really just meant to be OOC and crackfic-ey
> 
> edit as of 2/6/18: turning this into a drabble dump series!! will add sporadically :D

Honestly, it was a mystery why the manager didn't give them their own rooms. They'd all been sharing a, admittedly spacious, designated sleeping location since debut.

It was safe to say nobody had slept normally since then.

 

_10:00 PM_

“Is anyone awake?”

“Yes, Chanyeol, thanks a lot,” came a muffled voice that was probably Kyungsoo. The lights didn't even need to be on for everyone to hear the scowl in his voice. “We’re all awake because your ass snores SO loudly every-”

“Quit glaring at me.”

“The lights aren't even on.”

“SHH I need at least 10 hours of my beauty sleep,” came a new voice from close to the ceiling.

“You shut the hell up Zitao you're lucky to have gotten the top bunk so you don't need to suffer through Chanyeol's snoring.”

“At least I don't moan Jongin-ssi’s name in my slee-”

This time of the night was about when Kyungsoo usually threw a pillow at Chanyeol’s face.

 

_12:00 AM_

“What is the meaning of life,” whined Luhan from the side of the room closest to the window.

“Dude, shut up,” said a voice that sounded a lot like Minseok’s.

“Can't sleep.” A sniffle. “It's cold.”

A loud sigh. “Fine, you can sleep with m-OKAY BUT KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!”

“Hyungs, please be quiet or manager’s gonna hear,” from the voice of Junmyeon, ever the responsible one.

Afterwards, everyone ignores the occasional sigh of contentment coming from Luhan, who's wrapped around Minseok anyway, despite what the elder always says.

 

_2:00 AM_

“Turn the lights on. I can't find Jongin-hyung!”

“Sehun, you don't need to see Jongin to fall asleep.”

“Junmyeon-hyung…”

“I am under my bed,” comes a voice from under the bed closest to the door.

“What the actual f-,” begins Jongdae, but he's interrupted by Yixing.

“That sounds fun!” A pause. “Actually, what are you even doing…”

Exaggerated whispering and giggling ensues.

“Okay, but can we go back to sleep?” Yifan’s voice from next to Junmyeon’s bunk.

“Jesus Christ, be silent,” complains Baekhyun loudly. “I don't even know why I deal with all of you.”

“More like no one knows why we deal with your egotistical ass,” mutters Jongdae under his breath.

But they all know why no one ever requests separate rooms. They've all gotten used to the bantering every night. It's an unspoken reminder of how much they care for one another, how close they've all gotten since EXO was formed.

After all, they’re pretty much family at this point.


	2. how exo probably sleeps (REWRITTEN)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 revisited over a year later and reworked :) 
> 
> 2/6/18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have writer's block for all those fic fest things so my brain thought it would be a good idea to write some cringe memez

Honestly, it’s a mystery why EXO’s managers don’t assign the members individual rooms, or at least divide them into smaller groups for their sleeping arrangements.   

They've all been sharing an, admittedly spacious, apartment since debut. Or, at least living quarters that can technically qualify as an “apartment.” Really, it’s more like a common room that comes with bathrooms, an entertainment space, and a kitchen - but the members are always too tired to notice the difference, much less complain about it.

However, due to EXO’s particular group arrangements, it’s safe to say that no one has slept normally since the formation of the band (or family, as Junmyeon prefers to refer to them as).

 

_ 10:00 PM _

“Is anyone awake?” 

“Yes, Chanyeol, thanks a lot,” comes a muffled voice from the side of the room closest to the door, next to the bunk where Chanyeol’s bed is located. Of course it’s Kyungsoo; the lights don’t even need to be on for everyone to hear the scowl in his voice. “We’re all awake because your flat ass snores so loudly every night-”

“ _ Stop _ ,” Chanyeol whisper-yells. “I was trying to make conversation because I care about you guys, okay, that wasn’t an invitation for everyone to whale on me. And quit glaring at me.”

Kyungsoo sends Chanyeol an especially angry glare just for this, then adds, “You can’t even see my eyeballs in the dark, stupid.”

“Don’t need to. I see your eyes in my worst nightmares,” Chanyeol deadpans.

“Chanyeol I swear on Baekhyun’s life if you don’t shut up right now-”

“SHH,” Zitao’s voice floats down from the bunk above Kyungsoo’s, admonishing the two of them. “I need at least 10 hours of my beauty sleep. Seriously, and you keep wondering how I got these eye bags.” 

“You shut the hell up, Tao. You're lucky to have gotten the top bunk so you don't need to suffer through Chanyeol's snoring  _ every single night _ .”

Never one to be outdone, Chanyeol shoots back without thinking, “At least I don't moan Jongin’s name in my slee-”

Kyungsoo actually considers sneaking out of his bunk and smothering Chanyeol in his sleep, but then he imagines Junmyeon’s disapproving frown and settles for throwing a spare pillow at Chanyeol’s face instead.

A yelp from the bunk next to his indicates that the pillow meets its mark.

 

_ 12:00 AM _

“What is the meaning of life,” whines Luhan from the side of the room closest to the window. If he moves the curtain just slightly, he can make out all the stars twinkling in the sky, looking down upon EXO and their achievements since debut. Gazing upon the night sky always makes Luhan feel small and insignificant, because what is he in comparison to the galaxy that’s as old as the concept of time?

“Hey, Luhan?” Minseok asks from the bunk under his.

Luhan perks up. Minseok is always willing to listen to his late-night ponderings about the universe. “Yeah?”

“Please shut up.” Or maybe not.

“But I can’t sleep…” Luhan says, voice smooth as honey. 

“Try,” Minseok suggests, and Luhan decides that his hyung needs another hint.

He fakes a sniffle. “It's cold.”

A loud sigh. Luhan knows that Minseok knows better than anyone that he’s full of bologna, but Minseok always plays along.“Fine,  _ I guess  _ you can sleep with me…”

Luhan flips down from his own bed and lands on Minseok with a loud thump before Minseok is even finished offering. “THANKS.”

Minseok shoves him off, telling him to stay on the other side of the bed. If everyone concentrates really hard, they can maybe hear the sound of Jongdae rolling his eyes from across the room - because they all know they’re going to wake up in the morning and find the two oldest members snuggled together contentedly under the blankets.

 

_ 2:00 AM _

“Does anyone want to… turn on the lights? I can’t find Jongin.”

Junmyeon cracks open an eye from the other side of the room. “What do you mean, you can’t find Jongin?”

“You don’t have to find Jongin to be able to fall asleep,” adds Yifan. “Go to sleep, Sehun.”

“But guuuuuys,” whines Sehun. “Everyone else has a sleep buddy. Jongin’s supposed to be mine!”

“Sorry,” a third voice chimes in, followed by the bump of a body against a piece of furniture. “I’m under the bed.”

“What the actual f-,” begins Jongdae, but he's interrupted by Yixing. 

“That sounds fun!” A pause. “Actually, what are you even doing…”

Exaggerated whispering ensues, Jongin explaining what he was looking for to the other dancer. Before long, the two are giggling about the group’s most recent choreography and there definitely will not be anyone getting any rest tonight.

Junmyeon tries to quiet them down anyway. “Kids, please be quiet or manager’s going to hear,” he pleads, and the other leader agrees.

“Junmyeon-hyung is right. Let’s all go back to sleep,” says Yifan from the bunk next to Junmyeon’s. 

At last, the atmosphere is quieting down again when someone sneezes, and Baekhyun lets out a groan, finally losing his patience. 

“Jesus Christ, be silent,” he complains loudly. “I don't even know why I deal with all of you. My life literally sucks.”

“More like no one knows why we deal with your egotistical ass,” mutters Jongdae under his breath before saying aloud, “Baekhyun, shut your trick ass the fuck up.”  

Kyungsoo snorts, making the maknaes laugh, and it takes another round of hushing from the leaders before anyone can fall back asleep. 

Despite the routine every night, they all know why no one ever requests a separate room. They've all gotten used to the bantering every night, and it acts as an unspoken reminder of how much they care for one another, how close they've all gotten since EXO was formed. 

After all, they’re pretty much family at this point. Dysfunctional maybe, but they love one another anyway.


End file.
